Introduction

  I'm writing this blog for my friends who are interested in the process of starting a family when, well, a couple doesn't have the parts necessary to procreate.  Alot of people think it's not possible for a loving gay couple to start a family, but there are many ways it can be approached.  We thought about becoming adoptive parents, but because it costs so much money to adopt, and I've always wanted to experience pregnancy, we decided that we would try to have one ourselves! 
  After being turned down by our insurance company a few years ago by some discriminating fine print that excluded us from coverage because they required a couple to be "married atleast two years," we had to put our dreams on hold.  While we waited to get in a better financial situation, I did a lot of researching and reading on methods and resources available to same-sex couples.  I found it comforting that there were books like Louise Sloan's Knock Yourself Up that proved to be very informative (and on clearance for fast removal).  The book was written mainly for single women who wanted to become single mothers, but we adapted it to fit our personal situation.
  We decided that we wanted to find a friend who would become a donor for us so that our child, if he or she wanted to, could find out about the other side of her biological family.  When using a cryo bank, the anonymity of it all scared me a little.  I mean, the guy on the other end of the vial could be lying about anything from his medical history to his own emotional stability.  He is protected by the secrecy of it all and that made us nerveous.  Plus, there are the costs involved with sperm banks.  One small vial of sperm averages about $650.  Then you have to consider the cost to ship the sperm from its location:  It must stay frozen, which means it has to be in a steel container filled with liquid nitrogen.  Average cost for overnight shipping?  Atleast $195.  Atleast! 
  So, after waiting nearly two years after our first doctor's appointment in Charlotte to start the process, we finally found ourselves in a position to be able to begin the journey without the help of insurance.  We found a friend who was willing to sign a donor agreement (which will NOT stand in a court of law, by the way) and then sign over parental rights when the child is born.  Looking for someone who would be okay with helping us was not an easy task, but the guy who will become our donor is an excellent choice.  He is a family friend of mine, I have known him for a long time now, and he built a friendship with Sara (my partner) long before we even considered him as a possibility.  To be careful not to exploit him, his identity will be witheld from most, and be released on a need-to-know basis. 
  We are completely excited about the whole process and very eager for each new step of the way!